


Upon First Meeting

by ChildOfTheDragon



Series: A Muse Thing [1]
Category: Gravity Falls, Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)
Genre: Alastor Has a Heart (Hazbin Hotel), Asexual Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), Asexual Character, Asexual Relationship, Asexuality, Crack Crossover, Human Bill Cipher, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Multi, Muses, Polyamorous Character, Polyamorous relationship, Polyamory, Sex Repulsed Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), Sex Worker Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel), THIS IS A WEIRD CROSSOVER, Thoughtforms, Tulpas, anyway here's wonderwall, psst hey kid you want some crack?, seriously who else but me wanted to read this?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2020-08-22
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:47:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26049778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChildOfTheDragon/pseuds/ChildOfTheDragon
Summary: ...................................you wanna read a story/stories about Bill Cipher dating Alastor the Radio Demon and maybe Angel Dust the pornstar?Of course you do. NOW WITH A SPECIAL PICTURE INSIDE!! Ooooo shiny art!
Relationships: Bill Cipher/Alastor, Bill Cipher/Angel Dust, Bill Cipher/others mentioned
Series: A Muse Thing [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2069103
Kudos: 16





	Upon First Meeting

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! Pop quiz real quick, do you know what a Tulpa is? You do? Cool beans carry on, the rest of you stay here for a sec, I gotta fill you in on something real fast.
> 
> Okay, a Tulpa (or a Muse as they preferred to be called in my head) is basically a type of willed imaginary friend which practitioners (such as myself) consider to be sentient and relatively autonomous. The internet is your friend if you want to look more into it, but in laymans terms this fic is less fictional for me and the Muses involved and more of a look at their actual lives inside my head. This is a thing that took place and I wrote it out in a nice little story for you because I wanted to share it and many many more zany ass moments I bear witness too. A lot of fanfic writing (for me) involves my Muses sorta playacting out scenes and I just kinda record them, but this is different because it documents my Muses real feelings and their actual actions. Soooo....be nice, please. We are choosing to share because we think other people might like to see stuff like this, and because it's a nice break from the way I'm constantly beating my head against a wall trying to get other Muses to not be over dramatic little buttholes when writing the actual fictional stories I put out. 
> 
> If you'd like to know anything more about this situation feel free to ask as I'm always down to answer questions and talk about this. Also, lemme know if you wanna read more stuff like this. I've got other stuff written down and I just think it'd be a shame not to share it with someone who would appreciate it.

When Alastor decided to introduce his boyfriend to Angel Dust he knew beyond a shadow of doubt that the naughty little spider demon was going to hit on Bill. That’s just how Angel operated, in lewd postures and blatant innuendos. He would be lying if he said he didn’t expect his boyfriend to respond in kind, and to no surprise Bill had of course taken the bait. Since he had agreed to date the Cipher demon, Alastor had noticed right away that Bill was the more sexually zealous one in their partnership. This was presenting a small bit of a problem, as Alastor was decidedly, well...not. 

He liked Bill well enough; the man had a silver tongue despite his sometimes grating sounding voice and a wit sharp as a tack when it counted, not to mention a sense of humor on par with Alastor’s tastes. And even though Alastor didn’t see people through a sexual attraction lens, he couldn’t deny that the near constant little smirking smile Bill wore when he was in a good mood or the dapper way he dressed himself in pressed slacks and a yellow button up shirt with a black bow tie and tophat charmed his cold little radio heart. The fact that Bill also whole heartedly agreed to the absolutely no sex under any circumstances terms Alastor had set forth when they were feeling out potentially starting a romantic relationship probably helped a lot too. Though of course Bill had countered Alastor’s ultimatum with one of his own, that starting a relationship with Bill Cipher meant he, Alastor the Radio Demon, would have to accept that Bill came with a few other partners already. Which he was of course fine with, as far as Alastor was concerned it was the perfect solution to the question of what should be done about their nonexistent sex life. If Bill had other partners he could seek to have his sexual needs filled through them and Alastor would find another way to show his growing affections for Bill. Yet a little over two weeks into their budding relationship and Alastor would come to find that not many of those other partners were so openly available for Bill as Alastor assumed they would be.

Or at least, that’s how it looked the first time Alastor had to consider what was going on.

He found that perplexing at first, for how could someone be polyamorous and as physically open as Bill Cipher was and just NOT have a different date lined up for each day of the week? He wasn’t mad, no, of course he wasn’t going to be cross with Bill for something like this; he had to be reasonable and admit that he was so quickly relieved that Bill had agreed to his terms and offered a truly viable solution that he hadn’t thought to ask how many other partners Bill had until he’d realized that Bill seemed to be defaulting to spending a lot of time with him. Nearly every waking moment, in fact. So after a few weeks into their new relationship Alastor finally did ask, and was puzzled when Bill’s answer was little more than telling him it was complicated. How could knowing the exact number of other partners you had be complicated? 

Well, it turns out Bill had been ghosted by a few of them and was holding those relationships in a limbo state until he could get a hold of the partners in question and talk out exactly what had happened. Alastor gently prompted that if Bill hadn’t heard from them in the years that he claimed they hadn’t spoken, wasn’t it then safe to assume they were just over? Bill told him that he understood that logic, and that by all accounts that likely would be the case, but he still loved those people and should they come back into his life there should be at least enough space for them to discuss what had happened and where they might want to take their relationship if those people still held feelings for Bill. Alastor supposed that was fair enough.

He had not one, but TWO girlfriends. Which was odd because Bill had said he was very, _VERY_ , strictly sexually attracted to men. So Alastor asked for more information on how that was even possible. Turns out his relationships with said girlfriends weren’t sexual at all, something Alastor of course could find no fault for. In both cases they each had their own girlfriends, one of them in an open triade type relationship where Bill also checked in with his girlfriend’s metamours and even their metamours, whom they DID sleep with and the relationship the three had with each other had come about from each of them finding comfort and support as they all recovered from devastating abusive relationships. In fact the only fault Alastor could find with this was that, ironically, Bill and each of his girlfriends all had a tendency to dress in one of the three primary colors, their favorites, and they joked they were the Primary Trio, posing for pretty aesthetic Instagram photos where Bill liked to show off how photogenic he was. Alastor was especially jealous of the red themed girl, because she almost always had a genuine smile that could light up a room and joke to boot. But even if her mere presence pissed him off because it encroached to far into what Alastor considered his territory, she had something with Bill that Alastor couldn’t take away just because he was a little jealous that Bill had taste. There were things that set him apart from that girl, and he would simply have to share with her all the areas where they overlapped. 

The next set of lovers Bill had was one he called the Gay Trio, but it was more of a gay couple whom Bill fancied, and their other lover whom wasn’t looking to really be a part of a relationship with anyone. Bill and the other man had dated for a while, but more considered their relationship and rather friends with benefits type deal. And while that was still on the table, both Bill and this third had other partners they were taking care of so, hooking up with one another wasn’t immediately on their minds. Bill also made a point of saying that they were both aware that Bill’s sexual needs were...well, a bit much for the man to handle by himself. It was easier when they had their whole set, Bill apparently got more satisfaction that way, but with the couple asking for some time to get through some things they needed to sort through and both Bill and the other male having other lovers to look after, that was another dry area.

Overall, this all amounted to one thing: Bill had a lot of partners he looked after, but really not a single one of them took care of a part of Bill that Alastor suspected was feeling very neglected. Not that Alasor really understood sexual desires, but he wasn’t naive to the looks Bill laid over him sometimes as they spent evenings together. And the way Bill often begged him for a moment of cuddling was becoming...disconcerting. This wasn’t supposed to be Alastor’s department, that was something they had agreed on before becoming involved. And oh yes, Bill wasn't asking for anything sexual related, but he was asking for things Alastor knew he wouldn't always be in a mood to give, he had a five foot rule and while Bill was respectful of it he did also like to test how close he could get to Alastor without actually touching him and it was, amusing to watch but annoying when Alastor _wasn’t in the mood_. Hence the problem at hand. Thankfully Bill was satisfied for now with Alastor’s shadows taking hold and restraining him from asking for anything more, but the Radio Demon wouldn’t be bullied into giving Bill something they’d agreed he wasn’t obligated too. So when Angel Dust had finally made an appearance in the Wonderland Alastor was ecstatic with the relief he felt.

Angel was a sex worker, so Alastor knew if it came down to it he’d simply have to pay whatever Angel was charging to get Bill set up with someone who was far more skilled in this area then he was. Then his boyfriend would have a sexual partner to play with and he could go back to enjoying Bill’s company without those longing looks and the soft begging for more physical touch then Alastor felt comfortable giving. All would be right with the world. It was a flawless plan with no possible way to backfire. And thankfully, it would seem it wouldn’t even need to come down to a matter of payment for as soon as Bill and Angel laid eyes on one another there seemed to be an automatic pull between them. 

Angel never wasted a moment when meeting someone new to feel out if he could get them into bed with him. Alastor had barely finished the polite and obligatory introduction of their names when Angel was already asking Bill what he would have to do to get the Cipher in bed with him. A bold choice, one Alastor had to admire even if it made him squeamish. Bill spared his boyfriend a glance, a look of understanding coming over him on what was going on, before he turned his attention back to Angel and met his boldness with a bold statement himself; pointing out that he knew of Angel’s hidden limbs and suggesting they go someplace more private to _show off_. The cipher demon knew eaxctly what was happening, Alastor could probably never surprise him, but that hardly mattered. Bill carefully let go of his boyfriend, understanding that he was being given someone new to play with and explore, and he slowly made advances on the spider who could read him like a book as far as was Bill wanted. Angel was an expert at making men chase him, and Bill was exactly the kind of demon who liked too chase. The coy steps back, the way Bill simply followed, Alastor may be a sex repulsed ace who would slap away all sexual advances aimed at him, but oh, he could hardly believe how well they hit it off. If Angel's chuckles and Bill's growing fixation were anything to go by then he'd made the right call setting them up. He retreated carefully from the parlor deciding to give them a moment of privacy, and he shuddered at the last look he threw them before shutting the door behind him. Of course, he would be weirded out by how close their bodies had become, how each of them was now daring the other to kiss them first as lips hovered close enough to lick without touching just yet. But that was just fine, it's what Alastor wanted for them after all.

When he peeked on them about two hours later, having steeled himself to seeing something sure to make him retch, he was surprised instead to find Bill had let down a few bars of his illusions, allowing Angel to see him in his demonic form. At first Alastor had wondered why that was, until he caught sight of the way Angel had pulled out his third set of arms as well, and he was reminded of the comments Bill had made regarding showing off. The way they seemed to be giggling over the insane amount of limbs they had between them and what to do with them was nearly aborible. It wasn't what Alastor had expected them to bond over, but then as long as they were bonding that was good. He quickly and quietly made his exit and promptly congratulated himself on a job well done. 

Yessir, Alastor was simply a magnificent boyfriend! Who said you needed to have sex with your significant other to show them that you loved and cared about them? Why, he'd done a fine job noticing something was amiss and making sure Bill was taken care of! And while most people might have been worried that their boyfriend might not come back from a romp with someone like Angel Dust, Alastor had complete confidence that wouldn't happen. For starters, Bill understood that nothing was over between himself and his partners until they had agreed it was over, so if nothing else there would first have to be a discussion regarding why it was ending. And even if Bill wanted to pursue a relationship with Angel Dust, why would he ditch an already established relationship with Alastor? After all, Angel Dust was a sex worker, so Bill would likely have to accept that would be part of their relationship if they did build something between them. And Bill had so many other relationships he’d have to end if they decided they would be exclusive, relationships with people he cared about. 

So Alastor couldn't be bothered to worry about a silly little thing like Bill dumping him.

And when he checked on them again a few more hours later, he immediately needed to NOPE away with very strong and mixed feelings of pride and disgust as he found them entangled on a sofa, heavily petting each other and making out. He was embarrassed only that they'd heard him slam the door behind him, and Bill called out that they would take it upstairs where Alastor wouldn't have to worry about checking on them anymore to see how they were doing. His little radio heart was so very glad to hear they wanted privacy for ~sex~ that he thought for sure he'd done the right thing and that everything was going to be just fine in the world. How strange it felt to be proud of himself for that, but it was honestly how he felt. Proud and giddy with relief and excitement all over. They liked each other and he, Alastor, was the one who had put them together! His smile widened and he just hoped neither Bill nor Angel would want to gush to him about any of it, seeing as there's only so much he could stomach to hear before he'd want to crawl out of his own skin. 

He was so happy that they were getting along that the simultaneous shouts from upstairs startled him into a jumpy prance and his whole body screeched and popped with radio interference for a moment. But there was no mistaking the words said or the fact that Bill and Angel had said them almost in perfect unison.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE A BOTTOM?! **_I'M A BOTTOM!!_ **"

Alastor tilted his head to the side, wondering for a brief moment if that was going to be a problem for them. They had sounded upset, after all. 

Oh well, it was something Bill and Angel could sort out amongst themselves, beyond Alastor’s expertise now anyway. He’d done what he’d set out to do and he was sure he’d done a damn good job of it. Oh ho, he was such a wonderful boyfriend indeed!


End file.
